Pay Attention!

What do the words “pay” and “attention’ have to do with each other? And why do we say “pay attention” when we mean “be present” and “be here now”?

When someone does something or says something you don’t agree with, the whole truth is it is ok for them to have a different opinion or perception of the world we share. Yet sometimes you are tempted to react, to take it personally and judge, defend or attack. When you let that happen, when you find yourself enmeshed in the feeling and emotion of your button-pushed reaction, notice your energy is invested what’s going on outside you and doing what you can to make it different/go away or change. You are paying attention to what’s happening outside because you don’t want to be present with what’s happening inside.

That’s where it gets messy. Whenever you invest your energy - pay attention - mainly to what’s occurring outside you i.e. what was said or done, you only get part of the information you need to respond and make another choice. When you forget to go inside first, to breathe and be with your own feelings, thoughts and energy inside you, when you forget that you are the source of all that is occurring, the cause of everything that is occurring both outside and inside, then you are caught up in feeling at the effect of whatever is happening. And the game continues.

Start paying attention to what’s happening inside you first. Be present with yourself and your thoughts and feelings about whatever is occurring moment by moment. Remember that you get to decide what things mean and when you pay attention to what you are making things mean, you have a choice about the next moment.

When you invest your energy in being the most loving, peaceful and joyful you can be, the dividends are huge. You experience more love, more peace and more joy no matter what is happening. When love is your main investment strategy the rewards are immense, for you and everyone else.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"All we need is love"

The Beatles

The Truth About Your Judgements!

There seems to be some confusion regarding the difference between acknowledgment – telling the truth – and expressing your judgements. Some people seem to think that expressing a “negative” or “critical” truth is judgement and therefore not appropriate to express. Not so. What determines whether you are judging is whether or not you believe that whatever is occurring (or whomever is involved) is right or wrong; good or bad; negative or positive; better or worse. Judgement is the polarising value we place on whatever is occurring, not the thing itself. It’s a context that we come from and is largely based in fear, not love.

The net result of judging everything that occurs is that you create a polarised position in relation to that which you are judging. That very polarity creates tension and ultimately the whole attack/defend pendulum gets set in motion.

For example: If I have arranged to meet someone at midday and they show up at 2pm, telling the truth to that person could go something like: “We agreed to meet at midday and you are 2 hours late. I feel disappointed and frustrated right now.”

The judgement piece comes in when you believe that it is wrong for someone to show up late and they are wrong for doing that.

For example: “We agreed to meet at midday and you are 2 hours late. What’s wrong with you that you can’t keep a simple appointment? It’s not ok for you to do this to me. Blah, blah, blah… " (you know the drill!).

And don’t get me started on the “No judgement but…” conversation. That’s just a sleazy way of making others wrong while appearing to be “enlightened” and detached. Yeah, right. If you think saying “no judgement but…” gives you licence to dump your judgemental “truth” all over someone else, think again. The most powerful thing you can do when you find yourself judging is to acknowledge it eg: “I am judging (you/me/what’s occurring) right now and I am feeling upset/angry/frustrated (whatever it is). Then choose how you want to respond rather than go looking for agreement about your judgements.

The truth is, you judge, I judge, everybody judges. We judge everyday in many ways - both large and small, covert and overt, extreme and subtle. Recognise that you do judge and rather than judge yourself for that, love yourself, tell the truth and be responsible for your truth and your judgements.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Today I will judge nothing that occurs."

A Course in Miracles

Let The Healing Begin

On Wednesday, February 13, 2008, I like millions of Australians witnessed history being made when our Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd, stood up in Federal Parliament and said “sorry”. As I sat and watched with tears streaming down my face, I was moved by his open, honest and heart-felt acknowledgement. I knew that a profound and powerful healing had begun not just for all Australians, but for all humanity. Later in the day I received the following email from my beautiful business partner and dear friend, Peter Sheldon and I want to share it with you:

“Today was the 42nd opening of parliament and the day that the prime minister, Kevin Rudd kept his word and delivered an apology to the indigenous people of Australia. Rudd’s speech, the emotional and spiritual responses in the parliament and particularly the gallery were evidence, along with the deep feelings in my own heart and soul, that we were witnessing the fundamental commencement of a deep healing, not only for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders, but for everyone who resonated with the pain of separation, the release of genuine acknowledgement and the possibilities for creating anew.

It has long been my own feeling that we have been blessed to have in our consciousness (though often denied), the continued (though tenuous) presence of a people whose profoundly deep feeling of connection with the land and model for connection through spirit is a reminder of where and how we have separated from our own spirit and from each other as a people.

In many ways, I feel the consequences of this part of our own history, as they are demonstrated in aspects of both city and country Aboriginal communities, is the mirror of so much we haven’t been willing to acknowledge in our modern, busy living and sometimes soulless experiences. Yet how profound and painful it has had to be (for our indigenous brothers and sisters) to allow us all to get to today and the healing to begin with consciousness through this first step to reconciliation. How powerful that Rudd has brought this forward so forthrightly and in this first term of Parliament for both Kevin Rudd and Brendan Nelson who entered the House today as new leaders on both sides of Parliament.”

Now as we move forward in the spirit of reconciliation I ask you to look into your own heart and choose to heal your separation from your own magnificent self, from each other and from humanity as a whole. We are all one people, one whole planet, one song in the universe. Let the healing begin.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Today is an historic day. Through one direct act, Parliament has acknowledged the existence and the impacts of the past policies and practices of forcibly removing Indigenous children from their families. And by doing so, has paid respect to the Stolen Generations. For their suffering and their loss. For their resilience. And ultimately, for their dignity"

Tom Calma, Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Social Justice Commissioner, Australian Human Rights and Equal Opportunity Commission

For more information: http://www.humanrights.gov.au/social_justice/bth_report/index.html

 

Choosing Peace

According to the Gregorian Calendar we use in our culture, it’s a “new year” and the habit of many is to make resolutions, plans, goals and lists of things to do in the coming 12 months. And as anecdotal evidence suggests, the majority of resolutions, plans and goals fall by the wayside before too long.

Some years ago, I realised I was making mostly content based resolutions every new year out of habit and a sense that “I should”. I also noticed I became very attached to them as a way of measuring my worth and value. This strategy did not ever deliver what I had hoped for which was to simply experience myself as lovable, valuable and ok, no matter what was going on.

So I decided to let go of my “lists of shoulds” and start each year by choosing a personal context that supports whatever I am choosing to do rather than focusing on all the content issues and “stuff” to resolve or do or achieve.

This year I choose the context of peace. I choose to experience deep, unshakeable inner peace no matter what’s going on inside or outside of me. What this requires is my willingness to BE peaceful, to detach from personalising everything from my ego’s view, even when there is temptation all around me to get plugged in and react. Not easy.

As the integrity of our human process dictates, as soon as I chose peace I began to experience lots of “not peace”! A friend’s dog nipped my toe; a man honked and glared at me in the traffic; the builder across the road brought in a rock-breaker going hell-for-leather hour upon hour, etc. I could react and get stressed or I could choose peace. Again, not always easy and certainly I had some moments of strong feelings and reactions, yet as soon as I reconnected with my context of peace I returned to being peaceful and things began to change without any effort or stress on my part. That’s peace.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I could choose peace instead of this"

A Course in Miracles

Jerry Seinfeld’s 3 Rules For Life

When I heard Jerry Seinfeld talk about his “3 Rules For Life” (he was in Australia recently) I was inspired by his deeper distinctions. Now you get to read my interpretation of what he communicated: Enjoy!

1. “Bust Your Ass”

This particularly American turn of phrase that could be interpreted as simply “go hard” and do the most you can do. However I believe if you look deeper it actually holds a key to peace and joy no matter what’s going on. In the context of “I create the whole of my own reality” it also means to get fully involved, it means putting your whole self fully into whatever choices you are making and fully experiencing whatever you experience. It means responding from your whole self and being fully present.

2. “Pay Attention”

Again, this often heard phrase (particularly in relation to school!) could be interpreted to mean simply “stop day dreaming and get with it” and in one way that’s spot on. And it says, “wake up!”, become aware of what’s really going on, the whole of what’s occurring, not just what’s obvious. It means get connected in consciousness with the world around you and the people in it and notice what’s really happening. It means invest yourself in the moment and be here now.

3. “Fall In Love”

The most obvious interpretation is “…with that special someone…” and a deeper cut allows you to see the fullest application of this cool rule in all of your life. Enjoy every moment, fully and completely. Savour every experience and when you have a peak experience, acknowledge it, revel in it and celebrate no matter what it is. Jerry Seinfeld cited having “…a GREAT cup of coffee..” and letting everyone around you know how you are feeling: “ I am having a GREAT cup of coffee right now!” Simple and powerful.

As 2007 draws to a close, remember these 3 simple rules and enjoy the festive season however you choose to celebrate. It has been a wonderful year for me in every way and I am so grateful to be me, here now, living the life I choose. I am blessed to have so many friends, advocates, supporters and mates. Thank you.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"It’s a great life if you don’t reason"

Florence Scovel Shinn (1928)

Give It Up!

Until you give up judgement (right/wrong; good/bad; negative/positive) as the default setting for your internal (and often external) communication, you will continue to experience yourself as not safe to be who you really are. You will experience others as attacking you when you do not agree and you will experience hurting yourself with your constant internal conversations full of judgements (of self and others) that keep you stuck in the loop of feeling varying levels of “not good enough” and needing to prove that you are.

When you let go of self-condemnation, self-blame, self-bashing and self-doubt (all judgement based), when you accept that whatever has occurred in the past is in the past (i.e. it’s over!!) and you let go of needing/wishing/hoping it woulda/coulda/shoulda been different - you open yourself to hear and receive love from everywhere and everyone. It’s quite remarkable how much space gets created when you let go of using your “not-good-enough” stuff as your primary reference filter and choose instead to accept and acknowledge the truth about who you really are – “the most magnificent being ever created” – as your only reference point.

Its time to give up your “not good enough” story, time to step-up and really own the truth about you really are – the creator of the whole of your own reality - powerful beyond measure, perfectly you, right here, right now – able to show up as “the most magnificent version of the greatest vision” you have ever had about yourself. Choose to remember that you are ok (and so is everyone else), that you are inherently loving energy (and so is everyone else) and whatever it looks like, whatever you feel – if you seek to connect with the loving intention in every situation, interaction and conversation – you will find it – and yourself.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"…judge not, and neither condemn, for you know not why a thing occurs or to what end."

Conversations with God 1, Neale Donald Walsch

Are You Up-To-Date?

I’ve just returned from London after delivering some workshops and catching-up with lots of people, some of whom I haven’t seen for several years. On the flight over I became aware that I was feeling quite anxious. I told myself "… it’s to be expected … you’re traveling far away from home, meeting new people … just let go, get off it, calm down, relax" … blah, blah blah …

A few days (and a few challenging experiences) later, I noticed I was feeling even more anxious and now I was also feeling angry. Clearly telling myself to "just let go and get off it" was not working.

I vented to a friend then decided to sit with the feelings and let myself be. I realised that I was reacting to old stories, old pictures and old stuff still running in my head - stuff that had happened in the past - stuff that was not actually going on right now … except I continued to create it and recreate it inside me. I realised I could keep choosing to create my now based on the past or I could choose to get up-to-date, to take a fresh look at the people and situations I was experiencing right now and choose a different reality now, free from the past.

I chose to take a fresh look, to listen with clean filters, to remember that every person I encounter is a magnificent, loving, creative being - as am I - irrespective of what shows up and all I need is to be here now, in this moment, freely choosing this moment, right now.

Over the next three weeks I had the most wonderful time. I loved every moment of my time away, I made new friends, deepened connections with others and experienced the joy of being here now, choosing fresh and clean, right here, right now. I recommend it.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Nothing ever happened in the past that can prevent you from being present now … if the past can’t prevent you from being present, what power does it have?"

Eckhart Tolle