15 July 2006

Judgement Is Repulsive!

A few weeks ago, I turned 50 and was showered with acknowledgment, love, flowers, well wishes and beautiful gifts, one of which was a gorgeous silver ring from Tiffany & Co. When I opened the blue box I was in raptures! It was perfect. - perfect shape and design and although a little loose, I wore it anyway. (You probably know what’s coming…) Five days later, it slipped off my finger and when I realised it was gone I had a brief moment of certainly it somewhere in my house then the self-judgement started: “stupid”; “irresponsible”; etc and things got very ugly and very stressful.

With the old paradigm “not good enough” running the show, I frantically searched everywhere. No ring. I tossed and turned through the night and the next day I asked a colleague for some support. He helped me see that I was agreeing with my self-condemnation (not good enough again!!), that (obviously) I had become attached to the ring yet had not really let myself “have” it; and that the whole truth included that I wore the ring when it was loose because I loved it and wanted to enjoy it (not that I was “just stupid and irresponsible”)!

It took a while to process all my feelings and become aware of the whole. And then I got it: every time I judge myself (and others) I push away. When I remember I am responsible, that I am “cause”, that everything is always happening perfectly, when I accept and let go, things shift. When I accept rather than judge I feel at peace.

Two days later I spotted the ring under my bed (where I had searched before!) and I let myself fully receive it. And yesterday I took it back to Tiffany where it is being resized!

01 July 2006

You’re Overreacting!

How you are never upset for the reason you think you are.

Overreacting. You know what I mean. That moment when someone says or does something or something happens and you find yourself in the midst of an intense, overpowering, emotionally, charged full-blown reaction! A reaction that seems disproportionate to the situation – yup, you’re overreacting!

Have you ever wondered why it’s called overreacting?

Because you are reacting to something from the past, to something that is over. Reacting now as if it’s happening again - reacting now to something that is as over as yesterday yet you are still emotionally attached to it. That’s why you over-react. Because you have not yet fully responded to (or released) whatever it was in the past, the subconscious memory of which is being triggered in the present and – wham! The emotional maelstrom starts.

So next time you find yourself overreacting, ask yourself “What’s really going on here?”; “What does this really mean to me?”; “When have I felt like this before?” and listen to yourself. You’ll know when you get to the source of your upset, and then you can respond – this means acknowledging what’s really upsetting you, dealing with it and letting it go. Respond, release and move on.