The power of you is that you are you.
Simple. Powerful.
The power of you is that you are free to choose to create yourself however you like in the paradigm of cause. You get to choose how you show up … powerfully.
It has nothing to do with anyone else.
You don’t have any power over anyone or anything.
Seeking power over someone or something is not power…it’s control.
And seeking to control is borne out of fear not love. It comes from the paradigm of fear - victim/persecutor/rescuer - and never produces that which you seek … certainty or security or peace.
The power of you is that you are pure loving creative energy, able to choose to BE whomever you choose and out of that DO whatever brings you joy and HAVE whatever you choose. The power of you is that you are response-able for all that you are and all that you do and all that you have and you get to choose how to respond … again … and again … and again …
All it takes is your willingness to accept the awesome power of who you are and what’s really possible when you choose love over fear.
That’s the power of you.
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"The power of you is that you are you"
You can really only trust one thing about me, and that is, you can trust me to be me.
Sometimes aware and responsible and loving and detached … sometimes shut-down, scared and reacting like a wounded child and everything in between.
Yet when things get tough and I am consumed by my unresolved feelings and emotions, when I forget who I am and simply react out of my fear of being hurt/abandoned or whatever it is then you will experience me either fighting or fleeing or simply stonewalling. When I am in that feeling state, I will do whatever it takes to survive … including lying and betraying you to be true to myself.
And there’s the sting in the tail of trust.
It’s not about you … it’s about me.
Can I trust myself to know the difference between truth and lies? Can I trust my response to you and the external world beyond any words or actions that say otherwise? Can I trust me?
If I think that trust is about trusting you, I am bound to experience betrayal in some form or another and so are you. When I remember that trusting myself is the key to trust then trusting you to always or never do this or that is not necessary.
Being present to the whole of what is going on for me … being aware of my own internal knowing of what’s actually going on and trusting that is far more effective than trusting anyone or anything outside of me.
And when I remember this, trusting me to be and you to be you … is easy.
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"Trust is an inside job"
Does the idea of being selfish bring up a whole lot of feelings, thoughts and judgements for you?
When young, you were probably taught (as I was) that being selfish is “wrong’” and “bad” and therefore if you were selfish, it meant you were “bad” and “wrong”. Let’s face it, selfish in this context is not something any of us want to be accused of or known for.
And in your desire to be seen as anything but selfish - out of the fear of being judged as “not good enough” - you began playing the game of life from the victim-persecutor-rescuer dynamic, often denying your needs/wants/desires in order to be seen as “good’” and “right” and “selfless” because you put others first.
So how is that working out for you?
Taking care of others at the expense of yourself is not a recipe for peace or joy or fulfilment and it creates exactly what you don’t really want… the game goes on.
As with all things, the meaning you give to the idea of being selfish is absolutely context-dependent.
When you choose to be selfish from the context of I Create the Whole of My Own Reality, when you choose selfishly from a context of love, it means that you include your loving self in your choices to BE, Do and Have. It means that you are willing to consider yourself and your needs as well as considering others. It means that you value yourself and your feelings and your needs not at the expense of others but as well as. And it means as well as giving support, you are willing to ask for and receive support for yourself too.
Being selfish in the new paradigm means taking care of yourself first so that you can BE who you choose to be with and for others.
In the context of love, being selfish actually works … for you and for me.
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"When I selfishly create the whole of my own reality from love
everybody benefits including me"
When you have an experience of being misunderstood or are accused of “not understanding”, take a moment to consider that there is something missing that just might make sense of whatever is perceived as “mis-understood”.
Yet when faced with the feelings that accompany misunderstanding, you probably go straight to reacting, protecting and defending and nothing changes.
In the paradigm of cause, understanding starts with a willingness to accept that whatever is happening and however you are reacting to it, there is something else going on under the surface that, when acknowledged, changes everything.
And to know this you only have to look at your own experience of being mis-understood.
What occurs is you say or do something that produces a reaction you do not like/did not expect. Then you push back - usually with the words: “You don’t understand!” and start explaining why the other is wrong for not “getting it/you”. Of course, the blame game never creates resolution, so round and round you go, feeling mis-understood and blaming the other.
When you accept that there was something missing in your original communication which produced the reaction, you can then respond by communicating explicitly and clearly the missing bits. And if you want to know where to look it’s usually that you did not give context before the content so the other makes up what they think you meant.
You have your own very sound reasons for everything you do/say … and so does everyone else. Mis-understanding occurs when you fail to communicate the whole of what’s going on - particularly how you feel - and what you want as a response.
If you want to understand and be understood, say what you mean, ask the other what they mean and respond to the whole communication … and you will understand.
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"I will never ask you to understand my life but I will ask you
not to judge it as you do not understand it"
Eric Patten
What is the value of you?
If you are tempted to answer this question by first running through a list of all your achievements and judging their value … think again.
The starting place for giving yourself the power to consciously create your life as you want is to look at your current way of valuing yourself and what you do.
There are two distinct meanings for the word value:
Obviously, while you confuse the two meanings of the word value, you remain unclear about your own intrinsic value and you remain confused about who you are and what you can do.
As long as you judge yourself on the basis of relative worth when compared to others, and stay focused on proving you are good/right rather than capable … you don’t have time for much else, it becomes a relentless circle and nothing changes.
If on the other hand, you value yourself for your capacity to BE who you are and choose what you want to DO, then you are free to choose again … and again.
So let go of the good enough stuff, the right/wrong, the good/bad and simply let yourself acknowledge the intrinsic value of who you are AND what you have done which has resulted in whatever is happening. Let go of diverting into explanations and justifications and simply tell the truth about the whole of your reality including acknowledging the value.
As long as you devalue yourself by saying you are not as good or as capable as someone else, because your exchange rate is not seen to be as high, you assume that your ability to create your life as you want it to be is also of limited possibility and value. This is simply not so.
You will discover this for yourself when you are willing to accept that the value of you is that you are YOU … powerful creative being able to choose. When you acknowledge the whole of what is so including that the whole of what you have created has value and take responsibility for it, then you can create anything you can think of.
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"Value yourself.
The only people who appreciate a doormat are people with dirty shoes."
Leo F. Buscaglia
Nothing like a new year to get inspired and motivated to start something new or “turn over a new leaf” or change something - by making a New Year’s resolution or three …
Yet (as you have probably experienced) the success rate of most New Year resolutions is not very high because they are often content based rather than contextual. Then the initial excitement of making sweeping changes is soon replaced by the ups and downs of daily life and everything that goes with it … including those pesky unconscious habits and behaviours that just keep on keeping on … and resolutions often just go out the window.
If you want to change something or many things, if you are truly resolved to make a new choice or choices … start with getting clear about your purpose.
How you do this is first identify what you want to change, what new choices are you making, then ask yourself: ‘For what purpose?”, and keep asking until you get a clear context.
This year I am choosing to be more organised regarding my finances and budgeting processes; to let go of how difficult I experience keeping up with technology; to stop “stuffocating” myself and let go of a whole lot of stuff I don’t need or use anymore and to enjoy all the moments whatever is going on.
When I asked myself “For what purpose?” the answers that came were all about ease and flow … when I asked what that was really about for me what came up was “Trust”.
My purpose, my context is Trust in 2017.
Trusting in who I am - powerful, valuable, lovable, responsible, creative; trusting in what I know including that things will keep changing; trusting in the process and outcomes I am creating whether consciously realised or not and trusting in my ability to respond to whatever shows up.
What’s yours?
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"When you stay on purpose and you refuse to be discouraged by fear,
you align with the infinite self, in which all possibilities exist."
Dr Wayne W. Dyer
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