What You Do Doesn't Matter

Seriously, what you do doesn’t matter. Doesn’t matter today and won’t matter 100 years from now. You may be feeling uncomfortable, even challenged by this idea - particularly if you happen to be invested in the “doing, doing, doing” paradigm that is all pervasive in our society. If you honestly think that what you do and how well you do it is what makes the difference– think again! If you think that what you do is important you are seriously deluded – yes, deluded because you have missed the whole point of BEING here!

You are here to BE the most magnificent you that you can BE. You are not here to DO anything in particular. You are here to BE you – nothing more and nothing less – simply BE you.

“But how do I DO that?” I can hear you ask…and herein lies the divine dichotomy…you do not get to BE who you are by DOING anything. You get to BE who you are by BEING who you are right now, and right now and right now …you get the point! When you let yourself BE wholly and fully who you are then whatever you DO makes a difference because of who you are being. And here’s the kicker – when you get that what you DO really doesn’t matter, then you are free to DO whatever you choose because you know that what really matters is who you are BEING while you do whatever you choose! Neat huh?

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"You might as well BE yourself,
because everyone else is already taken."

Anon

Are You Pressure Sensitive?

A few weeks ago I was asked to get involved in a project with one of my long-term clients (for a new client of theirs). My immediate visceral response was “no” – not my thing really, not really what I do best but rather than simply get the message and respond, I chose to override it with my insidious thinking that I “should consider this” and not wanting to disappoint anyone I said “yes”. After all I was doing something to help my client and I thought “I can do this, I can make this work” and so it began.

One week on and I was feeling anxious. I kept telling myself “I’m a bit anxious and that’s ok and this will work” and I’d let go of the anxiety for a while and carry on. About the same time, I had my annual physical check-up and my blood pressure was higher than usual. My doctor suggested I monitor it for 3 months to see what was going on. Now I was anxious about this too!

Two weeks and many hours of thinking, talking, meetings, phone calls, emails and changing schedules later (and higher than normal BP readings every day) I presented to the client and it was a complete bust! Nothing worked for the client (or for me!) and at the completion the client said it was not going to work and my involvement in the project was terminated. I agreed and rather than feeling not good enough, I actually felt relieved! I felt much calmer than I had in weeks, I had a smile on my face and my body felt different, lighter and more relaxed.

As I was driving home, I realised that I had been putting so much pressure on myself (and everyone else) to “get the project right and make it work” that my wellbeing – physical, emotional and mental – was directly affected. And because I was so intent “doing the right thing” I ignored most of my anxiety and pushed it away. As soon as it was all over, I felt completely different. And the next day my blood pressure dropped significantly (and has stayed in the normal range ever since).

I saw again how easy it is to slip into agreement with my fear, rather than stand for what I know is right for me, even if it feels uncomfortable to say so. And the real epiphany was to see the immediate affect my emotional state has on my health and how quickly it can change.

You’ll Always Get What You Know You Will!

Whatever you think you want, whatever you think you are choosing, the reality is you will get exactly what you know you will, what you feel certain about. Not what you think most often about but what you feel most consistently about.

Now you may think you are clear when you have a clear concept or picture or form of what you want. But how do you feel? Do you feel completely clear and clean? Do you know you will manifest what you say you want? Really? Or is there a niggle of doubt? Do you feel a sense of “ah hah” deep inside, that “gut knowing” or do you feel anxious? Are you certain (like you are certain of your name or age)? Or are you hoping, wishing, praying, beseeching?

The secret to getting what you say you want lies in telling the truth about how you feel - on a sensory level (body response) emotionally (the meaning you give to everything) and the fundamental “gut” level (what you know).

For years I would write a new “life script” on December 31st. I would write down everything I wanted then wait anxiously for things to happen so I could feel valuable, powerful, lovable etc. Sometimes it worked and often it didn’t. Then I discovered that I was doing the process backwards. First I needed to know I am a lovable, valuable, powerful creator. To know who I am without doubt. Then choosing to manifest “stuff” was easy.

So next time you think you know what you want, check out how you feel – what’s really going on inside you. Pay attention to your “gut” response on a sensory level, notice and allow whatever emotional feelings you have and then tell the truth about what feels congruent and what doesn’t. You know what that is. And when you have emotional, sensory and “gut” alignment, manifestation is instantaneous!

What Aren’t You Saying?

I was having breakfast with a dear friend recently and we were talking about the difficulties she’s having communicating openly and honestly with her family. Her initial reason for withholding (particularly emotionally) was that “…it’s very painful for them and they can’t deal with it”. I responded that her rationale was logical, reasonable, even thoughtful and very common…spare them from acknowledging (and perhaps releasing) their pain by continuing to suppress, depress and repress your own!

I then offered her another way of looking at it: “What if your withholding actually reinforces their fear and pain? (The unconscious message being sent and received is: “you are right, it’s too hard /painful/scary to deal with so we’ll just push it away/deny/ignore it”). What if you are actively enabling them to stay in fear because you won’t have the heart-felt and sometimes hard conversations? What if, by sharing your truth openly, honestly, directly, clearly and completely you (and they) have the opportunity to feel and heal and let this go? And finally, whether they choose to go there or not, you can…”

I then shared my own experience of having a heart-felt and hard conversation with my mother over the holidays. I was feeling a lot of stuff so I just blurted it all out one day in a fit of frustration. Not the most elegant way to start a conversation, yet in the end it didn’t matter. What mattered was my intention – which is to come from love and return to love as soon as I become aware that I am not coming from love. So I kept talking and listening and responding until I got to a critical emotional piece I had been withholding for a long time. My energy shifted immediately. I was aware of a deep abiding peace settling in me. Then Mum began to really open up and shared how she was feeling with me. It was amazing. I realised (again!) it’s not a one-off “all fixed now” proposition. Being open and honest is a process that has no end. Whenever I open up, really open up and share the big and the small – the all – my relationships thrive. And so do I. She got it.

Recommended Reading List

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Lorna's Current Favourites:

(as at 29 September 2009)

The Girl Who Played With Fire Stieg Larsson

Just Gazing Poems Barb Greene


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A Course In Miracles, Foundation For Inner Peace

A Course in Miracles, Teachers Guide

A New Earth, Eckhart Tolle

A Return To Love, Marianne Williamson

A Thousand Splendid Suns, Khaled Housseini

A Woman’s Worth, Marianne Williamson

Address Of The Divine, Amma

Addition, Toni Jordan

An Astrological Mandala, Dane Rudhyar

Anatomy of the Spirit, Dr Caroline Myss

Approaching The Corporate Heart, Margot Cairnes

Awaken The Giant Within, Anthony Robbins

"be", compiled by Kobi Yamada

Beyond Therapy, Beyond Science, Anne Wilson Schaef

Birth Without Violence, Fredrick Leboyer

Blue Ribbons Bitter Bread, Susanna De Vries

Brain Sex, Anne Moir & David Jessel

Breath, Tim Winton

Bus 9 To Paradise, Leo Buscaglia

Communion With God, Neale Donald Walsch

Constance, Rosie Thomas

Conversations With God I, II & III, Neale Donald Walsch

Creating Love, John Bradshaw

Creative Visualisation, Shakti Gawain

Don't Picture Me Naked, Michelle Bowden

E=mc2 A Biography of the World’s Most Famous Equation,
David Bodanis

Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert

Enchanted Love, Marianne Williamson

End the Struggle and Dance with Life , Susan Jeffers

Enough: Breaking Free From The World Of More, John Naish

Everyday Grace, Marianne Williamson

Everyone Can Win, Helena Cornelius & Shoshana Faire

Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway, Susan Jeffers

Fl!p, Peter Sheahan

Forgiveness and Other Acts of Love, Stephanie Dowrick

Friendship With God, Neale Donald Walsch

Frogs Into Princes, John. Grinder & Richard Bandler

Gestalt Therapy Verbatim, Frederick S. Perls

Getting Well Again, O Carl Simington, Stephanie M. Simington
& James L. Creighton

Heal Your Body, Louise L. Hay

Healing the Shame That Binds You, John Bradshaw

Heart and Soul, Maeve Binchy

Home With God, Neale Donald Walsch

Homecoming, John Bradshaw

How To Know God, Dr. Deepak Chopra

How To Think Like Da Vinci, Michael J. Gelb

I Come As a Brother, Bartholomew

Illuminata, Marianne Williamson

Illusions, Richard Bach

Intimacy and Solitude, Stephanie Dowrick

Jonathan Livingston Seagull, Richard Bach

Just Gazing Poems Barb Greene

Kitchen Table Wisdom, Rachel Naomi Remen

Letting go of the Person You Used to Be, Lama Surya Das

Living Loving & Learning, Leo Buscaglia

London, Edmund Rutherford

Love, Leo Buscaglia

Love, Medicine & Miracles, Dr Bernie Siegel

Magic Demystified An Introduction to NLP, Byron A. Lewis
& Frank Pucelik

Man’s Search For Meaning, Viktor Frankl

Manifesting Your Destiny, Dr Wayne W. Dyer

Men Are From Mars Women Are From Venus, John Gray Ph.D.

One, Richard Bach

Opening Our Hearts To Men, Susan Jeffers

Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell

Peace Love & Healing, Dr Bernie Siegel

Peoplemaking, Virginia Satir

Primal Scream, Arthur Janov

Quantum Healing, Dr. Deepak Chopra

Real Magic, Dr Wayne W. Dyer

Reawakening Spirit in the Workplace, Jack Hawley

Rebirthing in the New Age, Sondra Ray & Leonard Orr

Receiving Love, Harville Hendrix

Reflections Of An Elder Brother, Bartholomew

Reframing, John Grinder & Richard Bandler

Return of The Bird Tribes, Ken Carey

Running From Safety, Richard Bach

Sacred Contracts, Dr Caroline Myss

Seat of the Soul, Gary Zukov

Socialism is Great!, Lijia Zhang

Sometimes Hearts Have To Break, Petrea King

Surprised By Joy, Michael Meegan

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey

The Alchemist, Paul Coelho

The Aquarian Conspiracy, Marilyn Ferguson

The Book Thief, Markus Zusak

The Boy In The Blue Striped Pyjamas, John Boyne

The Bridge Across Forever, Richard Bach

The Buddha Within, Lama Surya Das

The Celestine Prophecy, James Redfield

The Da Vinci Method, Garret Loporto

The Dancing Wu Li Masters, Gary Zukav

The Fifth Discipline, The Art and Practice of The Learning
Organisation, Peter M. Senge

The First Book of Group Psychotherapy, Jacob L. Moreno

The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz

The Gift of Change, Marianne Williamson

The Girl Who Played With Fire, Steig Larsson

The House Of Special Purpose, John Boyne

The Individual and The Nature of Mass Events,
a Seth Book/Jane Roberts

The Life You Were Born To Live, Dan Millman

The Little Friend, Donna Tartt

The Magic of Conflict, Turning a life of work into a work of art,
Thomas F. Crum

The Magical Child, Joseph Chiltern Pierce

The Magical Child Matures, Joseph Chiltern Pierce

The Miracle at Speedy Motors, Alexander McCall Smith

The Nature of Personal Reality, a Seth Book/Jane Roberts

The Nature of The Psyche, a Seth Book/Jane Roberts

The People Of The Book, Geraldine Brooks

The Pilgrimage, Paul Coelho

The Popcorn Report, Faith Popcorn

The Power is Within You, Louise L. Hay

The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle

The Return Of The Bird Tribes, Ken Carey

The Road, Cormac McCarthy

The Road Less Travelled, M. Scott Peck

The Seat of The Soul, Gary Zukav

The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, Dr. Deepak Chopra

The Shadow Of The Wind, Carlos Ruiz Zafon

The Tao of Physics, Fritjof Capra

The Third Millennium, Ken Carey

The Tibetan Art Of Living, Christopher Hansard

The Turning Point, Fritjof Capra

The Unknown Reality Volumes 1 & 2, a Seth Book/Jane Roberts

The Valkryries, Paul Coelho

The Wisdom of Florence Scovel Shinn, Florence Scovel Shinn

The World Is Flat, Thomas L Friedman

There Is A Spiritual Solution To Every Problem, Dr Wayne W. Dyer

Thinque Funky - Upgrade Your Thinking, Anders Sorman-Nilsson

Unconditional Life, Dr. Deepak Chopra

Using Your Brain For a Change, Richard Bandler

Winter Journey, Diane Armstrong

Why People Don’t Heal and How They Can, Dr Caroline Myss

Why Truth Matters, Ophelia Benson and Jeremy Stangroom

World Without End, Ken Follet

Work As If You Own It, Kirsty Spraggon

You Can Heal Your Life, Louise L. Hay

You’ll See It When You Believe It, Dr Wayne W. Dyer

Your Erroneous Zones, Dr Wayne W. Dyer

Your Sacred Self , Dr Wayne W. Dyer

Are You Giving Fear or Love?

In its most simple form, the choices you have come down to this – Fear or Love. You can choose to view anything from a context of fear or a context of love. And the only evidence you have of where you are coming from is how you feel and what you “know’ deep inside. Whatever the situation, circumstance or event – you can choose love instead of fear. When you choose love as your primary filter, it’s easier to accept things as they are, not as you expect them to be. When you remember that love is the main game, you move yourself from a place of fear -which manifests as anything from anxiety to terror - to a more resourceful, creative and peaceful place. And when you choose love moment by moment all your communication and thus all your relationships take on a softer, more expansive energy.

During this holiday season, where I, like many of you, will be spending time with family and friends I know that giving love to myself is just as important as giving it to others and that my willingness to let go, accept and allow also includes me – something I tend to forget when caught up in the whole Christmas ritual. So relax and enjoy giving and sharing love.

Wishing you and your loved ones peace and love and joy.

Who Says It Has To Be Done By Christmas?

that time of year again. The summer holiday season is fast approaching here in Australia and a Christmas/New Year holiday break is integral to many Western Cultures across the world. A time of “good cheer and goodwill towards men” is often seen as the finish line to reach before falling in a heap and having a “break”… until next year. Whether it’s meeting a deadline, catching-up with friends and family, achieving a sales budget or cleaning out the office – this arbitrary deadline can have you feeling stressed and under pressure to “get everything done before Christmas”. Not to mention all the extra energy needed to do all the things that have to be done for the holiday season.

Say’s who? When did this time become any more urgent or important than any other? Granted the whole “end of the year” thing is a convenient marker for letting go and starting fresh. And if that’s how you choose to view it and choose to use the start of the year to start something new for you, go for it. At the same time you could also choose to stop for a moment, take a breath and relax…that’s right… R…E…L…A…X. You can choose to have this “time of year” be as peaceful and flowing and productive and nurturing as any other. It’s your choice. You can choose to agree that time is the arbiter or you can choose to remember that you are!

So the next time you find yourself thinking/feeling “it has to be done by Christmas” ask yourself…”says who?’ and then choose.