Getting Better Is Not An Option

Your insidious habit of judging yourself and others is the super glue that keeps you stuck in your own process and in your life. The notion that somehow, some way you can do a bunch of stuff to get better (or that someone else can) is simply nonsense … at least it's nonsense from the point of view of the paradigm of ultimate cause: I Create The Whole of My Own Reality, with love and wisdom always.

The idea that you (and others) are not okay the way you are and that you need to get better is a value judgement pure and simple. And value judgements are absolutely subjective and no more true than anything else you make up. When you agree with your own infernal, internal judge, chattering away about how you are not good enough … yet … there is always more you can do to get better … you are destined to ride the roller coaster of “stuff-esteem” and all the emotional blah-jang that goes with it. Not to mention how exhausting it can be!

Want to get off this ride?

Start by observing the internal dialogue and start noticing how quickly you want to agree with it … then don’t! Realise that the thoughts and feelings you have about yourself and others are simply that … your thoughts and your feelings - made up out of your filters - informed by your perceptions - occurring as a result of your value judgements and that they are no more real or true than anything else you can make up. Then make up some stuff you enjoy.

Choose to perceive everything and everyone through a filter of love rather than fear … choose to experience that you are okay and so is everyone else … choose to agree with the idea that everyone is always doing the best they can and what’s needed is awareness and compassion and love; not condemnation and criticism … choose to be your own divine self in relationship to everything and everyone, including yourself!, all the time. Choose to respond from love and enjoy the ride … !

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"If you’re not all right the way you are, it takes a lot of effort to get better. Realise you are all right the way you are and you’ll get better naturally."

Werner Erhard

Stop It!

2010 has arrived and with it the promise of ever accelerating change. And there is no better time than right now to start some new habits … but first you have to stop some old ones:

Drop the not good enough stuff
It’s not true. It’s simply a game you made up when very small to keep you safe and it has now served its purpose. You are here, you have survived and now you have much more awareness than that wounded child so time to let it go.

When you are running the not good enough stuff, your communication is informed by the context of seeking/needing agreement/approval to feel safe and ok. No way will you reveal your deeper truth with this going on, no way you will be open and available if you are seeking approval … and without openness and honesty, communication sucks. The not good enough stuff is the single biggest communication killer around … time to get over it … really.

Not everything that comes into your head needs to come out of your mouth:
Get to the heart of your truth and find out what’s really going on. Most of the monkey chatter between your ears is simply your reactive, judgemental, critical, ego-centric voice doing its job – which is to keep you separate from who you really are. Stop agreeing with the thoughts in your head and start coming from the love in your heart. Go into the deeper parts of yourself and enquire as to what’s really going on for you … and speak that out loud.

Say what you mean and mean what you say:
Stop pussy-footing around and say what you really mean. Be explicit and clear not wishy-washy and passive/aggressive. Don’t ask a question when you really just want to make a statement or express something. If you have something to say, say it and then respond to what comes back. If you want/need help … ask for what you want … exactly. And if you are only willing to accept a “yes’ response … don’t ask. The more explicit you are, the more your communication and your relationships will flow.

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"Say what you mean and mean what you say..."

Interstate 60

Another Change in Leadership

It’s time for another change in leadership. Not just in the world of politics – although we have certainly seen enough of that on a local level in the past week – but rather in how we see ourselves as leaders and how we lead. And that means you!

Irrespective of how you see yourself, you are at the very least the leader of you, and as such it’s time to step up and BE a leader, DOING what it takes to lead from love rather than fear.

The world is crying out for inspiring leaders that walk the talk and make choices and decisions based on whole truth and responsive action. It’s no longer sufficient to talk the talk of change and walk the walk of comfort. Whether in your own life, your work or your world, how you show up consistently is what makes the biggest difference. When you are firmly and consistently grounded in BEING the most loving you that you can BE, when you are willing to tell the whole truth and truly respond, your very presence inspires others to BE more open and honest and loving too. When you BE who you are, when you open up and authentically share and then do what you know you need to do guided by love and truth, everyone wins.

2010 is almost here and I believe this next decade will be defined by your Inspiring Leadership from fear to love. As the acceleration of consciousness and our creative process continues to increase rapidly, so too will the opportunities to lead yourself out of the illusion of fear and into the peace of knowing that you are love and only love is real.

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"As we open our hearts more and more, we are moved in the directions in which we are supposed to go. Our gifts well up inside of us and extend of their own accord. We accomplish effortlessly"

Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love

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Merry Christmas!

For me 2009 has been a huge year of letting go and embracing change often! From dissolving the Open Up Partnership to running my Training Program for the first time in 6 years as well as confronting old patterns and issues have all contributed to a most powerful year of growth and awareness for me. In all of it I am profoundly grateful to have experienced so much support and love and care and nurturing from you: my friends, family, clients, colleagues and many mates around the globe. As the year draws to its inevitable conclusion I am reminded once again that the past is over if I let it go, the future has not been experienced yet so no need to project and get anxious about what has not yet occurred AND the only moment that matters is now. So right now I wish you joy and peace and love, right now.

Love Lornaxx

Please note: I will be on holidays from December 18th to January 18th and Maxine from December 18th to January 7th. Both of us will have limited access to emails.

Sharing The Love

A few weeks ago a client sent me an email telling me that the work we had done together was having an impact at home - in particular with her 12 year old daughter Lexi and her blog site called Oz Tween Talk. When I logged onto the site, I was blown away. Here is a “tween” spreading the essential message of love yourself, tell the truth and be responsible to her peer group through affirmations, poems, her own insights, clear suggestions and supportive commentary.

I wanted to know more about this self aware tween and I also wanted to see if there was any way I could help get the word out there to more young people. When I talked to Lexi she told me that she got the original idea of writing a blog for tweens when she discovered that there just aren’t many forums for young people to really talk about how they feel about themselves and the things that are really going on and she wanted to do something to help. When I asked what kind of help she told me that young people need to step-back and look at things differently and not get so frustrated about the things that don’t really matter. Lexi says young people need to realise that although everything is not always perfect, you can live a worry-free life if you choose. Lexi believes that having a positive outlook and attitude is very important and she encourages her peer group to actively love and appreciate who they are right now through her colourful and engaging blog. She also acknowledged that her Mum had been very helpful and supportive in getting it up and running and although she doesn’t have a large following…yet(!) it’s out there. How cool is that!



Let’s face it … the sooner you realise that loving yourself is the real key to peace and happiness, the sooner you let go of seeking approval, validation, acceptance or agreement from outside yourself and start living an authentic life being who you are – beautiful, valuable, lovable powerful and unlimited. I am delighted that Lexi is sharing her self love with her friends. Please share the love with your tweens and family and friends

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"Give to the world to receive the world.
That's how the universe works.
To get something you need to give something."

Lexi, Oz Tween Talk 10/11/09

Being

The value of Being cannot really be explained in words or pictures or models or stuff…the value of Being can only be known at a deeper level of self – an expanded consciousness beyond your usual jangly-blah day-to-day awareness. And in this ever quickening global village we live in it often seems like a tough choice to take the time to simply BE when there is always so much to do.
Yet being overwhelmed with doing, doing, doing takes its toll on your health and wellbeing - physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Stress, worry and anxiety are very much at home in a doing-focussed, list-making mindset while peace, calm and joy reside somewhere else: Beyond the realm of doing into the domain of being fully who you are while you do whatever you do. Choosing to BE the most magnificent you that you can imagine while you do whatever you are doing. Choosing to be happy and peace-filled and joyful no matter what you are doing or not doing.
It’s a simple flip of an old paradigm of fear and resistance into a new paradigm of love and acceptance. At the very heart, all it really takes is a choice to BE conscious of who you really are - to accept that you are beautiful, lovable, valuable, powerful and unlimited - and to live in each moment from a ground of BEING that is not circumstance or situation dependant, but rather a conscious choice to be the most loving you that you can be no matter what is going on.
If you want to experience peace, joy and fulfilment focus on being who you choose to be, then do what you choose to do from love and you will have what you choose.

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"First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do."

Epictetus

Change Is Constant

Change is the one constant in our human experience. The one thing we can count on is that things will keep changing. And with that comes the opportunity to get up-to-date with the value of change.

According to the late Ian Xel Lungold (of Mayan Calendar fame) the rate of major change/paradigm shifts in this past decade is 20x faster than in the previous 250 years! Think about that … 20x faster - which means that change (think technology), is occurring at an ever increasing rate. And chances are you have been feeling it and experiencing it and dealing with it in every facet of your life.

How you handle change and how you deal with it is up to you. And there are a few things worth remembering if you want to keep up without flipping out.

1. Accept that change is constant and will keep occurring no matter what you do or don’t do.


2. You can choose to resist, avoid, manage, protect and defend or you can choose to accept, embrace, allow and respond – your choice.


3. Detach from outcomes and be focussed only on the end game and enjoy the process, the ride, the experience.


4. Remember that only love is real and relationships are eternal. It’s just the form that changes and when the form changes, trust that it is perfect and that it will probably change again.


5. Relax ... it's happening whether you like it or not so you may as well relax.


6. Choose who you wish to be in relationship to change and let go.

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"True change is always made at the level of 'being' not 'doing'."

Neal Donald Walsch

Don't Be So Greedy With Your Giving!

Why is it so hard to ask and receive help and support? Why do you shy away from actually letting someone else give support and help to you when you go out of your way to give to everyone? I know it feels great to give but what else is going on?

Well surprise, surprise…it’s the same bottom line…the not good enough stuff in another guise. Many people feel that it’s better to give than receive…better to offer than take…better than what? Than being seen as somehow selfish and self-absorbed…somehow not deserving because in the old paradigm world of fear, the more you can do by yourself, for yourself, the better. I mean if you have to ask for help that shows that somehow you are weak and not ok. So the cycle becomes give, give, give and take very little – particularly if you have not really “earned” it!

How well is it working? Do you ever feel that you have given enough? Do you ever feel that it is really ok to let yourself ask for help, support and/or assistance and really let it in? If you do not then I suggest you consider that always giving and not receiving - like always picking up the tab at coffee, deflecting a compliment, always being the first to offer help no matter what, denying help for yourself etc. is actually quite “greedy”. When you are always the one giving, others are denied the joy of giving to you.

When you do let yourself receive, when you are aware that giving is only half of the whole process and that receiving is just as important, you will discover that joy abides in both giving and receiving.

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"Don’t be so greedy with your giving…"

Sri Narayani Amma