Goodbye Mum

My beautiful, amazing, wonderful Mum passed away on March 29 with me, my sister and my niece at her side as she took her last breath and smiled. It was a profoundly beautiful final moment - very different to the previous 36 hours which were tough, tiring and sorrow-filled. It was moving and humbling to be present and witness her last goodbye on this earthly plane and I was so glad I was there.

Then there was a huge gap ... a big space ... of what I did not know.

I felt so many things ... sad, happy, upset, relieved, scared, calm, lost ...

The rollercoaster ride of my grief had begun and from past experience, best to let go and go with it. So I am.

It is often said that the death of the last surviving parent is a crucial transition time for the children left behind, whatever age they may be. That certainly seems to hold true for me and my siblings. This is a time where all the things Mum did for the family - like organising the family get togethers, creating the special occasions, being the birthday/anniversary/send-a-thank -you-card reminder etc. - will now be done by someone else. And life goes on.

It is a surreal time for me. One moment feeling clear and happy, the next in a pool of dripping tears (happened in the bank today ).

And through it all I am blessed to be so loved and supported. My beautiful and generous family have been awesome, my gorgeous friends have gone the extra mile for me in so many ways over these past few weeks, my amazing clients who have moved their appointments and been completely ok with how I am feeling and what I need to do for me including running from a coaching session to hop on a plane to be with Mum. Thank you one and all for your love and support. And thank you much for your flowers, cards, messages via email, text and facebook which keep pouring in. I am comforted and embraced by love.

I know Love is who we really are and when we die we return to Love.

I am so happy my beautiful Mum is now free from the pain of her physical existence, once again enjoying the freedom to BE who she is.

Goodbye Mum ... I will love you always and miss you much.

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"All of your life you think you are your body.
Some of you think you are your mind.
It is at the time of your death that you find out Who You Really Are."

Conversations With God book 1, Neale Donalsd Walsch

Stress Crash Miracles!

One moment's loss of focus, a few seconds of being distracted and the sound of metal on metal was deafening ... I had just pulled out of a parking space (in my Mum's car) and hit another car. It happened so fast it took my breath away. Luckily for all concerned no damage was done to any living thing but the cars were both a bit of a mess. I realised fairly quickly that this stress crash was a wake up call. Time to stop and really acknowledge (and feel!) how much stress I had been creating for myself over the past few months. I thought I was handling it all really well. I felt quite well physically and although I knew I was anxious, I kept telling myself to "let go ... and breathe ..." and it worked ... until the day I hit another car! No amount of letting go and breathing could unhappen what had now happened ...

The effects of the stress crash kept rolling on for the next few days ... I hurt my back clearing out the car so the tow truck could take it away, I stubbed my toes (hard) when running for the phone to tell my Mum I had totalled her car and then I left the house (to catch the bus) without my keys and for some hours retraced my steps anxiously looking for them!

I had booked in to see one of my counsellors a few weeks previously when I recognsied I was stuck in "worry mode". I was feeling anxious and distracted and nothing I did was making any real difference, so I was glad the first appointment was imminent.
When I arrived for my session the lifts weren't working properly and after much waiting and waiting I finally got there ... late. I was feeling frustrated and upset as I collapsed into the chair and proceeded to unload for about 3 minutes ... then I was given a fluffy pink halo to put on my head as my counsellor said ... "Lighten up! It doesn't matter ... stop taking it all so seriously." I burst out laughing and we were on our way.

At the end of the session I felt different ... more present, in my body and able to breathe and be, rather than stuck in my mind. I shared that I was aware of being more spacious and my counsellor asked me to notice what was different over the next week, rather than focussing on all the stuff that wasn't. The last thing my counsellor said to me was: "Enjoy all the miracles, no matter how small they seem ... they are everywhere ..."

We walked out to the foyer, I pressed the lift button and the lift door opened immediately ... then we both started laughing.

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"When you realise how perfect everything is
you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky."

Buddha

You Make It All Up!

As the insanity in the external world continues to reveal itself to be based in fear fuelled behaviours and outcomes - stop and take a moment to contemplate the awesome power of accepting that you make it all up!

Really ... you make it all up. Everything that you experience externally starts internally with how you think and feel and then act. When you change the way you think and feel and act, the world changes. Accepting, nay embracing, this simple yet stunningly potent truth is all it takes for you to remember that you are the force of transformation in your world.

Yet I suspect you hesitate to accept. You are still reluctant to really get that you are that powerful, that magnificent and that able. Able to create the reality you choose from the whole of who you are, pure love.

Well no time like the present to choose again and right now ... and I mean now, accept without question that you are the source of all that is. You don't have to feel it or even believe it, you just need to accept it as a truth to live by then BE who you want to BE while you do what you do.

BE loving and you will experience love, BE caring and you will experience being cared for, BE open and you will experience openness, BE honest and you will experience honesty ... are you getting it?

Stop focussing on all the doing, doing, doing and pay attention to who you are BEING in this moment and who you choose to BE in the next moment from love. Then notice what happens to and in your reality.

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Go within or you go without

Let Go ... or ... Go!

2012 is here and so are we!

I believe this year is about letting go of fear as the predominant operating context and embracing LOVE ... by and for every human being on our glorious planet. We have seen enough evidence on the world stage of late that those who choose to hang onto the way it was are being "forced" to go while those who choose to let go, are going forward and creating a new reality.

Letting go is a relentless moment by moment activity. When you are willing to let go of your expectations that the content of your life (things, other people, yourself) should be different, you will experience the freedom you seek ... freedom to BE who you are and to let others BE who and how they are. When you free yourself from expectation and judgement and accept, allow, embrace and respond to what's so moment by moment then nothing is a problem and everything that occurs affords you an opportunity to respond from love.

When you are attached to things/people/yourself being a certain way, it's a surefire prescription for disappointment. The constant need to manage, protect and defend your own position in relation to yourself, others and whatever is happening is exhausting ... not to mention futile in achieving lasting transformation.

The paradox is this: When you are willing to let go of your attachment to any and all of the content and focus on BEING who you are and responding moment by moment from a context of LOVE, you will have everything you ever dreamed of! What it really takes is choosing to let go of fear and then keep choosing to let go, and let go and let go ...

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"When you let go of what you are, you become what you might be."

Lao Tzu

If You Don't Ask … You Don't Get!

A simple phrase that packs a powerful punch when applied to any relationship communication dynamic. Think about it … if you don't ask for what you want - openly, honestly, clearly, directly and completely … you have no chance of getting what you actually want in response.

Imagine going to a restaurant and sitting down at a table and expecting the waiter to know what you want without having to say so. Insane behaviour! Yet time and time again you expect someone else (usually one "special" person) to read your mind without you having to say what you really mean … and when "they" don't get what you mean, you get angry, upset, frustrated and then blame them! Fuelled by fear and sourced in your thinking mind, this insane behaviour goes on all the time and you may not even be aware of it.

First step is to accept that it's really ok to ask for what you want. Then you need to accept that you may not always get what you want from the first person you ask. And if you are willing to let go and ask again, ask someone else, ask for help … and keep communicating, eventually you will get what you want.

Again … simple and not so easy to do until you accept that you can choose to speak up and ask and share whatever you choose. The key lies in truly being responsible for the response you get and keep communicating until you are complete - ie you get want you want!

During this festive holiday season, remember to ask for what truly matters and enjoy receiving whatever you freely give.

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"Ask and you shall receive"

Who or What Are You In Relationship With?

When you experience difficulties or issues in a relationship (personal or professional) ask yourself this question:

Who (or what) am I having a relationship with ... the behaviour or the person?

Most unresolved issues in relationship are caused from the former not the latter. and almost always come from you reacting to someone's behaviour/s you don't like. And when you are having a relationship with someone's behaviour, you focus on what they are doing and having and how the relationship would be so much better if only they would change.

How's that working for you?

Not very well I suspect!

When you focus only on behaviour and the need to change someone else you are on the slippery slope to nowhere you want to be. Look at it from the other point of view: How do you feel when someone reacts to what you do and expects you to change so they feel better? My guess is you do what most people do and you push back - either overtly by resisting and challenging or passive/aggressively by shutting down and withholding. Either way you don't like it.

And there's the rub...

No one does.

Peace and joy in relationship come from source - you. Focus on being who you are - loving, open, honest and response-able - in relationship to the other human being (rather than the human doing). Remember who they really are is the same as you - Love - (even though they don't necessarily behave the way you like) and keep communicating openly, honestly, clearly, directly and completely until the energy shifts and love remains.

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"The purpose of a relationship is to decide what part of yourself you'd like to see "show up", not what part of another you can capture and hold."

Conversations with God Book 1

Feeling Stuck

If you are feeling stuck - irrespective of your situation, circumstances or environment - the key to getting unstuck is inside you.

Feeling stuck is just that - a feeling, not the truth about anything other than the feeling of being stuck.

The truth is, you are never really stuck ... you just feel like you are.
And herein lies the quintessential secret to inner peace and happiness ... you are the one who chooses what you are feeling, what you are thinking and what you are doing as a result of all that thinking and feeling. When you are feeling stuck and you agree with the feeling, you then experience your reality as being stuck. And on it goes ... thinking what you are feeling is the truth, gathering evidence to support your truth and then feeling more stuck than ever!

How to get unstuck? Simple - and as with most of life's twists and turns ... not so easy at first.

As with most things the first step is to stop ... take a breath and BE where you are ... remember who you are: magnificent, powerful, lovable, valuable being ... feel what you are feeling and observe yourself in your process ... keep breathing and allowing yourself the BE where you are, observe your thoughts ... observe your feelings and let the energy move through you ... keep breathing until you feel a shift in your energy ...

Then ask yourself: "What's really going on?" "What do I need to know?" and simply sit and wait for whatever comes to you. Whatever it is, it will show you the way back to love and peace and joy.

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"I am only ever stuck when I decide I am and choose to be and I can get unstuck simply by choosing to BE"